I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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