Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i've created a new STD.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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