Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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