Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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