You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
