I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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