can we get nightvision for the apartment?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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