I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
