I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
