Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Randomize
