i just had sex bonerless
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
