i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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