he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I AM VODKA MAN
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
