she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize