Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My dick has a subreddit
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
