overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
