I'm drive I can fine osifer
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize