I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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