Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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