coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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