getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
