No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.