You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
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I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
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All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.