so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.