Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..

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(443): 8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath.. http://tfl.nu/przo

Replies (44) Good night (3601) Bad night (1710)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."

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(610): i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there." http://tfl.nu/12yv

Replies (28) Good night (6947) Bad night (763)
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(703): View more from Virginia

oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again

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(703): oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again http://tfl.nu/dw4b

Replies (20) Good night (3784) Bad night (1167)
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(951): View more from California

I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal

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(951): I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal http://tfl.nu/pmv6

Replies (23) Good night (10364) Bad night (1062)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless

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(608): Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless http://tfl.nu/2knh

Replies (75) Good night (3789) Bad night (1478)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

What?

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.

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(484): THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH. (610): What? (484): A TROUGH FOR VOMIT. http://tfl.nu/8z8s

Replies (17) Good night (3673) Bad night (3111)
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(386): View more from Florida

Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.

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(386): Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go. http://tfl.nu/vo4f

Replies (11) Good night (774) Bad night (3198)
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(720): View more from Colorado

After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.

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(720): After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards. http://tfl.nu/zyl3

Replies (13) Good night (815) Bad night (2852)
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(503): View more from Oregon

We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.

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(503): We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first. http://tfl.nu/hwjj

Replies (12) Good night (3383) Bad night (965)
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(518): View more from New York

At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out

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(518): At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out http://tfl.nu/bjrp

Replies (5) Good night (1137) Bad night (879)
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(619): View more from California

I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.

(1-619): View more from California

Very innocently.

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(619): I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend. (1-619): Very innocently. http://tfl.nu/o8xf

Replies (19) Good night (3032) Bad night (644)
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(512): View more from Texas

Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night

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(512): Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night http://tfl.nu/ggi7

Replies (1) Good night (305) Bad night (685)
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(702): View more from Nevada

You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.

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(702): You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe. http://tfl.nu/iy8l

Replies (7) Good night (1223) Bad night (262)
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(305): View more from Florida

Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.

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(305): Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home. http://tfl.nu/dxz5

Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (212)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE

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(803): Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE http://tfl.nu/rt74

Replies (13) Good night (404) Bad night (1080)

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