And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
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Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
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My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...