Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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