she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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