why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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