she was so not down for the gang bang
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
