legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
