so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
