I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
All I want is dick and wine.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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