I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
