Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my phone needs a breathalizer
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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