She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
