well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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