Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
