Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
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They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
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How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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