Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
