she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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