i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
