I just cut my nipple shaving
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
