Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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