I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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