she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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