There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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