look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
