p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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