That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
