This girl is more easily done than said...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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