after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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