im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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