He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
