Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
