Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
