are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
