I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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