I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
